True Prayer is the communion of a heart.

Prayer is a relationship you have. It is a state of heart. Like you think of a state of mind. Prayer is a state of heart.

Prayer is who I am. But when I am more in my human self I use words to pray. I talk like I am talking to you. But I am listening in my heart. I will say how afraid I am, how much I need God because I know my weaknesses and I know, I absolutely know I will fall. I need a lot of help to do this site, to share my words with you. Although I strive to be the the best I can be, I can still say a wrong word, have a bad attitude and make mistakes. For as courageous as I am willing to take risks, I am also weak and I am sure the courage I have has been given to me to do this work.

But in this place of holy prayer, holy connection, I am lifted up to see great things and have a great love for everyone. In this place I have asked if I too might walk with Jesus even through the crucifixion because it is my deep conviction that no one should walk alone and I would be there in what ever way I can. I am afraid of that pain, but I also believe that God will walk with me and take me through such an experience. I think not everyone is called to do this, but for those that are we are in a very special time where we can stand for all our brothers and sisters here, to heal the world, to be a force for good.

Jesus and the Crucifixion

In the spiritual world, it is like being on the top of a mountain. You can see all the roads around the mountain, what people are doing and so on. You can see who is going to meet whom and when. In that central place, there is no time.

This is important because it is now, this moment, that Jesus is being crucified. I think that those three days are also symbolic of perhaps 3000 years and the crucifixion will not be finished until the End Times is finished also. I see this world as a shadow of Jesus’ crucifixion, occurring simultaneously as His time upon the cross.  And we have the privilege to be with him now, too. We have the privilege of walking with Him even through to hell and beyond to God. At some point I will do posts about this for those of you who want to walk with me in this way. This is where it is time to stand forward…

I want to tell you about those prayers of heart… that you too can talk to God, and share in this sacred manner.

My prayer life begins from or flows out of what is stirred within my feelings. It is the place where life begins for me. It is out of this that I then talk to God about what ever is going on in the moment.

I think we as people think we have to be something other than who we are. Those things are social and political and belong in our limited physical world and limited thinking. We are trying very hard to look good. Things like “being positive”. That is mental and not from the heart. But often with me, I am talking about what upsets me, how I would like things to be, and since Covid, I pray for people all the time. People are lost and I have decided I need to stand up for them… but that is for another post. It is important and I want to share it but it is not right for this post on prayer.

I have been asked if I experience God as a person, or if it is more of a universal life force kind of thing… what is it like for me.

The power of God is amazing. The way it flows through… It’s like all your life you have lived next to a lake and then you find yourself in an ocean way beyond your ability to touch ground! But it is also personal because the kinds of conversations that take place… it’s like you are known. You feel known.

I typically don’t hear ‘words’ but it’s like an answer… seeing and experiencing everything all at once. Lot’s of times the things I am told are not what I expect, or even knew about. It is like having conversations in the language of ‘knowing’.

I don’t always get what I ask for. Sometimes even though I pray I won’t get a response or answer. Sometimes when I ask for things the answer or experience comes in within 30 minutes, though most often if I get an answer, it comes in the next day. It can be an experience, something that I see on the internet, or even as a dream or spiritual experience that came in through the night.

I don’t “see” God, though the seeing is in a spiritual way. It is like seeing a presence. If you could imagine a perfume in the room and being able to see it. It is like that. What is different in the spiritual seeing is that when you are in the spiritual way the things you look at are also ‘known’. The information as to what it is, how it relates to you, everything… is also known. There is no doubt in it.

If there is no doubt in the spiritual way of being, then the work here is to live what you know. That would be the element of faith… I have always said the true work of a Christian, of anyone really, is to trade out all fear for love. It is not something I find easy. It is not until it comes to your door you really get to see what you are made of.

Even though I have had profound… I mean REALLY PROFOUND experiences of God and the spiritual world, I still have doubt… sometimes daily. But this is where choice comes in. Because in the spiritual world, I KNOW God is all love and (He) is all about compassion, all the great stuff really, and I know(He) would not cause suffering… because that is not who (He) is. But when confronted with many Christian beliefs about hell I hesitate. I then try to stand on what I know about (Him) and make choices accordingly, and to trust. Trust (Him), trust myself… and to let the fear go. Is God a God of fear?

There are a lot of ideas that circulate in Christian thought and whenever I heard sermons or people talking about God fearing, Hell, or to have a fear of God, people implied that we needed to be afraid. Never once was I told it was about seeing the beauty in the world about me and having a sense of awe, of peace, of seeing the majesty in nature. If you see the wonder in the ocean, in a forest, in the sky… that would be you, beholding God. You are in the presence of God’s heart.

The experience of that wonder, that awe, that feeling is the reaction to being in or standing in a Sacred Way. It is God you are experiencing. But to step into that and have a relationship… that is truly special.

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But let me tell you of my doubt.

When I hear about the scary things of hell I am afraid. And then in my struggle, I try to remember what I have experienced about God and hold to what I know. My struggle is between my social mind and what I know is true in my heart. Sometimes my social mind takes over and it seems that every evil thing is true.

I try to practice a trust and walk away from fear. God is not a God of fear, but of love. That is what Jesus taught and I know I still have a lot of unlearning or relearning to do.